Sunday, July 25, 2010

Another one bites the dust

Check out this lovely lady: Ms Kelsey @ Far From the Safe Harbor
Far From Safe Harbor

I finished reading another great blog :) I decided on Far From the Safe Harbor since Kelsey has left me a few nice comments. Since I know she's been kind enough to read my blog, I thought it was only right to return the favor. I really, really loved this blog because it really hit home for me. I know I havent talked too much about my darling husband, and I will make sure to make a post or two about him soon. But in the mean time, I'll share a little insight into my first SUPER serious relationship.

I'm following a few blogs of Navy SO's so some of you may have been to/may someday visit my hometown. I'm from Saratoga Springs, NY. Just outside of town we have a nuclear reactor/Navy base. Usually, after they finish school in Charleston SC, if they're a Nuc, they are sent to good old Upstate NY. This is how I met "N"... It was the end of my sophomore year of college & we met through a mutual friend. He was of course a Nuc. Being as I was only home for 3 months during the summer, and he was set to get shipped out shortly, I never really thought it would be more than a summer romance. At the end of the summer it was bittersweet. I liked him, but I went back to school 2 hours away, and didnt think I would see too much of him. We left it at us dating, but we werent in a relationship. He came out to see me the first weekend back for rush week, and he promised to pay my gas money if I came home the following weekend. That weekend just so happened to be my 20th birthday. He went out of his way to make it special. The last night that I was there we borrowed his friends canoe & went out for the day. We talked about everything and anything. It was the first time we discussed a lot of deep topics that we hadnt talked about before. When it got dark we made it back to truck, and when he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the canoe it was electric. We stared into each others eyes for a long time before he went to say something, and then stopped. Later on that night while we were lying in bed we talked more about what we were, and he started looking at me like he had when we got out of the canoe again. That was the night he told me he was head over heals in love with me, only the second time in his life that he had ever told a girl that, and we became official.

Fast forward over a year full of seeing each other every other weekend. At this point he was accepted into an officers program & was on the fast track to a free ride to college. He chose Auburn because it was in his home state of Alabama. Once he moved there everything changed. Before he left HE was the one planning our future. Telling me we would be married once I finished school, and move to Alabama with him. Now he was saying it should wait. The program the Navy offers them is 3 years straight instead of 4 years with the summers off. It became hard to find time to talk to each other. He was busy with his fast-paced program while I was in my BLOCK semester (which is the hardest semester for Education majors. Its the core classes right before student teaching.) I was putting in the effort to talk to him, and he was pulling further and further away from me. Now if you've read Kelsey's blog, you'll see how I felt really connected to her while I was reading it. It was almost like my story. However, unlike Kelsey's story, I found out that "N" had started cheating on me around the 2 year mark around the end of his freshman year. I knew something was up, so I signed into his myspace & there were the emails back & forth. I know, I know. I sound like a psycho for going onto his myspace, but I'll let you know that I hadn't gone on it before. The password he used was the same for everything, including logging into my computer. I just new something was up, and I needed to know what it was. I called him out on it, and he denied it with everything he could. He made me feel like crap for not trusting him, and he ended things with me. I cried about it for a long while, and then on my next birthday he called me. I hadnt talked to him in a while, and he finally admitted to cheating on me with the girl in question. He said he couldnt handle the distance, and that was his way out. Now I don't condone what he did AT ALL, but I dont harbor any resentment for him anymore. He got married around the time I did, and just had a beautiful baby boy. I like to think of it as God had other plans for us. Even though we were good together, we were better apart.

It was a long time before I was ready for another serious relationship. At that time I had just turned 21 and I went into crazy mode. Not like "Hi, I'm a whore, take me home with you" or anything like that, but I was a self proclaimed make-out whore. I was kissing different guys left and right. It was not the best idea, but it was my way of not caring or investing my heart into anything serious for a while. I dated a few guys here and there until graduation, but none that I said "I love you" to. Then when I graduated from college I took a job down here on a whim. A few of my EX-friends from college had found teaching jobs down here, and convinced me to come along. Aside from my family, I didnt really have anything holding me back. I sent a resume out with ZERO work experience in teaching and ended up getting hired OVER THE PHONE. I figure what the heck, and moved 700 miles away without ever visiting this place. Come to find out that I was locating myself near the largest population of soldier in the country: Ft Bragg, North Carolina. At first I was really skeptical of military guys after "N" but eventually I went on a few dates here & there. Nothing serious... and I'd like to think that I'm not a tag chaser. While I've dated a few soldiers here & there I wasnt looking for the free health care, or to steal their money like most of the other women that would fall into this category. I had my own heath insurance through the state, and I really dont like to take money from people. To this day I still feel bad taking money from Steven for things other than our bills. He earns it, so I think he should spend it as he sees fit.

Since I'm on the subject, I might as well continue on and tell you about Steven & I now. I was still in my "I dont ever want to get serious with a military man" mode when I met him. I was out with an ex-friend (one of the ones I moved down here with, but that story is one for another time) and we decided to go to a popular bar. I walked in & Steven immediately caught my attention. He's a tall guy (6'2") so I saw him from across the bar. He was wearing a Stetson hat, tight Wranglers, and cowboy boots. I poked my friend and told her that he was mine, even though her and I have completely different taste in guys. He was exactly my type, and I couldnt help but steal glances in his direction. Thankfully, when I would steal a glance at him, I noticed he was looking at me too. After the looks went back and forth for a while he finally got up to come talk to me. As he crossed the bar he was intercepted by a cougar. She was wearing a ridiculously patterned dress and looked like she escaped from the '70's. It was hysterical. He looked at me with pleading eyes to come save him, but I couldnt stop laughing. He eventually escaped her advances, and came to yell at me for not coming to his rescue. Both of us were the DD's that night, so I knew it wasnt just the alcohol talking. After that we were inseparable, and the rest is history.

Here are a few pictures of my hottie :)

Yep, he rides bulls... Love my cowboy :D

Lip full of chew, ickkk, but I still love him

That's the stetson that suckered me in


  1. OMG! I'm completely flattered, thank you! We have A LOT in common and I just sent you an e-mail (hopefully the right address!) telling you this. Crazy.

    I'm glad you found your husband, he sounds amazing. :)

  2. I cant believe how similar your stories are! I'm so glad I found your blog, and you found your soulmate after everything that happened!

  3. More in common - my brother's a nuc, he was up there at Saratoga. :) The similarities just keep coming!