Thursday, March 10, 2011

TSST

If you are a teacher, join up with Erin @ Every Branch



A couple of funnies from this week :)

Me: I bet your mom would be mad is she knew you bought extra snacks every day and threw away your sandwich
Boy: Nah
Me: Well at least take it home. Maybe your mom will eat it.
Boy: Or I could bring the same one back tomorrow and not eat it.

Boy2: I really liked living in Germany... except for the fact that Germans are mean, and they smell really bad.
Me: You think so?
Boy2: Yea. I heard they don't shower over there.

Boy3: I have a joke for you
Me: Okay
Boy3: Why does a hobo look for a house to live in?
Me: I have no idea
Boy3: Because its hard to plug your charger into your cardboard box
Me: ??????????

This last one needs a little back story. There is a boy who is in the class next to me. His teacher is one of my very best friends, so our classes have always been close. She has one boy who is the center of attention at school, but goes home and says every one picks on him, and he doesnt like school. His father has been having dreams about walking into his room and finding that he's hung himself, so we're really on top of making sure no one is picking on him (which no one ever does. we're not sure why he tells his parents this) Any who... He comes over to be with the bottom lip out, and I immediately get concerned. 
Boy: Can you tell (girl 1) and (girl 2) to stop being mean to me?
Me: Of course. What happened?
Boy: I need you to tell (girl 1) and (girl 2) to... ::he then pauses for dramatic effect, then yells:: GIVE ME BACK MY WAFFLE!! 
At which point he laughs himself into hysterics.

And it just so happens that my mom sent me this hysterical email earlier:

A teacher's story about stuttering:

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students "Human beings are theonly animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered. 'The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 
"Well," she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty, and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start, and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.
'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Ffffff!", but before she could say 'Fuck-off', the Rottweiler ate her.'
The teacher had to leave the room.....



3 comments:

  1. Ah, high profile parents, gotta love them! I can only imagine what goes back to them is worse at that age.

    I think your student is making a poignant critique about modern American values, in which our emphasis on material possessions sometimes outweighs our ability to support our basic daily living. ;)

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  2. I love the one about the Germans!

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